I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize