we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Fuck appropriateness.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
