is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
