She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
