This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He uses pillows to masturbate.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
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