Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Duck Duck Cougar?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
