just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
