yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize