my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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