Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize