I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Someone came in the potted fern
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
