Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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