doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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