i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
