i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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