His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
