I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
