absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
