Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
