I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
