Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
