That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
