That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize