dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize