Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
