im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
