i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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