She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
