I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
