Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
