is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
