So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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