Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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