all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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