I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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