I seem to have left my pride at pride
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
