I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think a kid would responsible me up
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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