im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Randomize
