sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
