Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
