when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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