My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
that may or may not have been my penis.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
