The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
