Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Found your dick twin last night
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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