I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
