I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
