He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
