I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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