Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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