do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
