Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
