the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I think I sprained my soul last night
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
