you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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