guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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