Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
